Valentine's Day

Fewf, what a holiday! Whether you are in a relationship or single, this one can be a stressor. So many people have such high expectations for what I see as an over-the-top holiday. People often complain that V-day is way over commercialized, well I hate to break it to those people but Christmas is at least 10 times worse and you have to buy even more presents for even more people! Not that I'm complaining, I do love giving, but expectations are UNrealistically high.

Speaking from the point of view of someone in a relationship, I see Valentine's day as the opportunity to show the person you are with that you care about them. Caution, I did not say "show them just how MUCH you care about them", this is where people start to get a little carried away... The only thing I honestly want to do with my significant other on V-day is simple, spend time with him. We don't get a lot of time just the two of us without school or work interruptions so the idea of getting to spend a day, just the two of us, together; could not be more perfect. We're not even going out for dinner, we're making steak and lobster ourselves because cooking is something we love to do together. For those of you who do presents on V-day, hey that's great but don't put too much pressure on your partner, save themself and yourself some stress, put a price limit on it or have a rule that you must make it yourselves. And whatever you do, DON'T BREAK THE RULE! If you break it your partner will feel inadequate in their gift and will feel the need to go above and beyond in your next time of gift giving. This day does not need to clean out the bank and whatever you do, contrary to all the Spence Diamond (who I do truly love) radio commercials we've been hearing lately, Valentine's day is not the perfect day to propose, it's so not unique and so cliche. Please just don't do it, you are more creative than that!

If you are currently single (as I spent last V-day), Valentine's day is a great time to show your friends how important they are to you! Go out as a group of girls and remind them that they're amazing people. Don't be bummed that you don't have men in your lives, celebrate the fact that you have eachother instead! I would imagine that between you all amazing things could be accomplished. If like many people on Valentine's day, you feel the urge to call up an ex, I would suggest you hold that feeling until February 15th and see if it still exists. Typically the desire to call on an ex shows up in the moment and is quickly extinguished once the romantic day passes.

Men, a word of advice to you! Even if you have planned a very low key day with your woman, please keep in mind that this day is to celebrate your relationship with her and how happy you are to have her in your life. Tell her she's special, she's beautiful and you are lucky to have her. Even if you don't exchange any gifts, do something nice for her. Give her a back rub, make her breakfast, or go for a nice walk just the two of you. Make her feel important if nothing else.

Women, you don't get off without a word too. Please do not have these unrealistically high expectations for your man. If you know he's a student (as is mine) don't expect him to go all out and get you diamonds or roses. If you know he can't cook, do not expect a three course homemade meal for dinner. And please, whatever you do, don't compare. Men are naturally competitive and so if you tell him Julie's husband did this for her, he will feel the need to go above and beyond his means to keep with with him. Men show their affection in different ways so be receptive to him showing you in a way that you don't necessarily expect. Be thankful for the loving man you have in your life and all that he does for you.

Wherever you're at this Valentine's Day, be it with that someone special or your best group of friends, I wish you a day of relaxation and appreciation. Happy Valentine's Day!

Hugs from the city,
Sara